Today's sermon is part of the Experiencing God series that we have been running for the past 4 weeks. I have given it the title ‘Encounter with God'. It is based on the parable of the Persistent Widow as recorded in Luke 18:1-8, which Gordon has kindly read for us.

This is a familiar parable which seems straight forward enough. It is one of those rare parables where we are actually told why the parable was given in the first place. The story is one that we can understand and Jesus even explains what it means. Basically, there was a widow who persistently came to a judge asking that she be granted justice against her adversary. But the judge couldn't be bothered with her until he got really fed up with her persistence. ‘Alright, alright. Goodness gracious, Jaime. So drama! What is it?' And Jaime replied, ‘My Lord, I am a poor and lowly widow in 1 st century Palentine. When my husband died, I did not inherit anything according to Jewish Law. Now I am destitute. Have mercy on me.'. The judge said, ‘I don't care if you are a widow in 1 st century Palestine or a lesbian in 21 st century Singapore . I don't even care what God thinks. Because you are such an irritant, I am going to grant you justice.' Jesus says, ‘Listen to what the unjust judge says. And will not God bring about justice to him who cry out to him day and night? Will he keep putting them off? I tell you, he will see that they get justice and quickly.' So the moral of the story is pray persistently and do not give up. The Lord will surely answer your prayer. Simple enough isn't it? What sermon is there to preach? We might as well end early today. On closer examination of this parable, I find certain questions and challenges which I want to explore together with you.

Let's start right from the beginning. ‘Then Jesus told his disciples a parable to show them that they should always pray and not give up.' It seems that there is a certain expectation on Jesus part that the disciples should always pray. And for some reasons, he anticipates that they might give up after some time. Do you pray to God? Have you ever prayed to God and gave up? Why did you give up and stop praying? I have always had problems with the concept of prayer. I have shared this with my cell group on several occasions. As I was preparing for this sermon, I realized what it was that bothered me about prayer. It seems to me that when it comes to prayer, our focus is on the desired outcome, what we want God to do for us. I am not saying that we can't ask God for things. The persistent widow had a need. She wanted justice and she asked for it. There is nothing wrong about that. But is the outcome all that matters? Is this all there is to prayer? I have heard once too often people say things like ‘I prayed so hard for this job. God is so gracious, he opened the door and gave it to me.' A few days later, the company went bankrupt. So what do we say about that? So did God give you the job in the first place? Maybe God did, maybe he didn't. Why are we so quick to attribute with such certainty that the desirable outcome of our prayers is from God? I can only think of one explanation for this. The focus is always us, what we want. Where is God in prayer?

When I finished my A levels many years ago, I had to decide what to do next, what course to do, which university to go to. For some reason, my heart was set on going to the UK . But my parents did not have $150,000 to fund me, so the only way I was going to go was to get a scholarship. I remember praying to God that while it was my desire to go to England , but I will only go if it was his will. Quite remarkable for a 19 year old. I rationalized that I still needed to apply for the scholarships and if God was willing, he will grant me one. So I applied for a few different scholarships, attended some of the interviews. Some would not send me to the UK , while I missed a few interviews because I was doing jungle training in Brunei for my NS. So I got more and more desperate as it appeared that I might not make it to England after all. My prayer changed very quickly from ‘Lord, I want to do your will' to ‘God, I really want to go and you'd better give it to me'. It's boils down again to the outcome.

Perhaps there is one aspect of the prayer we have missed out. There is a similar parable in Luke 11:5-8 which illustrates this point better. ‘ Then he said to them, “Suppose one of you has a friend, and he goes to him at midnight and says, ‘Friend, lend me three loaves of bread, because a friend of mine on a journey has come to me, and I have nothing to set before him.' “Then the one inside answers, ‘Don't bother me. The door is already locked, and my children are with me in bed. I can't get up and give you anything.' 8 I tell you, though he will not get up and give him the bread because he is his friend, yet because of the man's boldness [ a ] he will get up and give him as much as he needs.' When the man inside the house finally got up to open the door, the pleading neighbour saw him face to face. Perhaps prayer is about seeking an encounter with God. When the judge opened the door to the persistent widow, the widow saw the judge. She had an encounter with him and she got her justice. If the outcome is all you seek in prayer, the outcome is all that you will get if it happens at all. Maybe prayer is about seeing God. When the door is open and you catch a glimpse of God, you will see the answer to your prayers in God himself.

In all my life as a Christian, I have only ever prayed persistently to God once. No, it's not that I am super faithful and obedient. Like the widow, I prayed out of desperation. Without an answer from God, I did not know how else I was to live. That was the time when I was still struggling with my sexuality. I did not ask God to turn me straight. Not that there is anything wrong with saying that to God. I did not ask him why life was so unfair to me, and why it was so hard to be gay. With all the degrees after my name, my prayer at that time was literally reduced to 3 words. ‘God, help me!' I did not know what else to say. I was totally helpless. I only wanted to be a faithful child of God. I just wanted to live right before him. I wasn't even thinking of living the alternative lifestyle that is against public interest as we have been told recently. But I struggled with my attraction to other men. I just didn't know what to do. So I faithfully prayed to God. ‘God, please help me' But help never came. Faithful persistence began to turn into anger. I became angry with God because I felt betrayed. Like a child I placed my trust in God in that when I pray, he will answer. Did not my Sunday school teacher say that? But he didn't answer me. God was a liar. I remember very clearly it was a Saturday afternoon in my tiny student room. I was very very angry, and I wanted to throw something at the invisible God who has eluded me. Just at the moment when I was going to lift the nearest object to throw into God's face, something happened. I don't know what it was – God spoke, an inner voice within me, whatever it was. A voice said to me, ‘God loves you more than anyone in the entire world.' At that moment, I just broke down and wept. I had an encounter with the living God. I had a glimpse of God who loves me more than anyone in the entire world. What I asked for did not matter anymore. I saw the answer in the face of God. God and the outcome has to be one and the same. God can only be who he is. That's the turning point in my spiritual journey, and I have never looked back.

Perhaps, we can look at the parable and prayer in another way. Perhaps we are not the persistent widow and God is not the judge. Could God possibly be the widow who cries out to us day and night, and we are the indifferent judge who would not open the door? Does the picture of God as the poor and lowly widow throw you off? I am one person that is not shocked by most things. ‘The license for the Affect05 concert has been denied.' OK! That might be a good thing if you need someone calm around. But it may indicate a certain level of detachment and indifference. When the tsunami crisis struck, everyone was talking about it. Many people swung into action, collecting clothes and food for the victims in Aceh and other places. I remember my senior consultant at work say to me, ‘Peter, this is very serious. The death toll is going to hit hundreds of thousands' I sat there thinking to myself,'What's new? Did not millions die in WWI and WWII? From dust we come, to dust we return.' While there is certainly a place for philosophical reflection, I was keenly aware that I was unable to identify with the plight of those who lost their loved ones. The door of my heart was tightly shut and covered with cob webs. It would not be opened.

Matt 25:34-40 says ‘Then the King will say to those on his right, ‘Come, you who are blessed by my Father; take your inheritance, the kingdom prepared for you since the creation of the world. For I was hungry and you gave me something to eat, I was thirsty and you gave me something to drink, I was a stranger and you invited me in, I needed clothes and you clothed me, I was sick and you looked after me, I was in prison and you came to visit me.' Then the righteous will answer him, ‘Lord, when did we see you hungry and feed you, or thirsty and give you something to drink? When did we see you a stranger and invite you in, or needing clothes and clothe you? When did we see you sick or in prison and go to visit you?' “The King will reply, ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

Last weekend, I attended Royston Tan's showcase of his short films. Royston Tan is one of the more prominent independent film makers in Singapore . Some of you might know him as the director of the controversial film 15 which our dear MDA would not allow him to screen. Of the 10 or so short films shown that day, my favourite was one entitled ‘Careless Whisperer'. Do you remember the Singapore Idol contestant who sang Careless Whisper? Or should I say who whispered the song Careless Whisper. He was the Singapore version of William Hung, someone who made a fool of himself on National TV. The producer pounced on it and used it to publicise the show. However, unlike William Hung who is a Berkeley undergraduate and who has made a lot of money out of his laughable performance, our Careless Whisperer remained a humble data entry clerk. The truth is that he really wants to sing but somehow he just can't project his voice. Royston Tan made a film about him. The Careless Whisperer played himself in the film. He became an actor, a star. Although it was a comedy about a nerd, Royston did not portray him unkindly. Most importantly, he gave him a chance to fulfil his ambition. He got a famous local composer to compose songs just for him for this film. He got the most sensitive recording microscope he could find to record Careless Whisperer's very soft singing. The film ended with him singing his heart out. Somehow our society value competency above dignity. Royston gave him dignity. ‘I tell you the truth, whatever you did for one of the least of these brothers of mine, you did for me.'

So what has all this got to do with prayer or encounter with God? How does God knock on the door of our hearts? How does he cry out to us day and night? The cry of the widow is the cry of God. The silent tears of the rich tai tai whose husband screws around whenever he travels on business is the cry of God. The envy of the barren couple when they see their friend's new born baby is the cry of God. What about the HIV positive man who lives in the world of drugs and goes around infecting people in saunas when what he really wants is someone special in his life? And an ex-convict who could not get a job and as a result lapse into crime again? When you open the door of your heart and reach out to the hurting and marginalised, the lost and maligned, you see what God sees. You pour out your compassion as God has compassion on them. You see God's face.You have an encounter with God. We look high and low for God. God is right here and there if only the hardened heart would open.

So are you the persistent widow or is God the persistent widow? Are you the reluctant judge who would not open the door or is God standing waiting behind the door if only you would knock? ‘When the Son of Man returns, will he find faith on the earth?' Luke 18:8 Today do you have faith to wait God persistently in prayer until he opens the door, and there you shall see him and experience him in your own situation? When you depart from this place this afternoon and go out there, will you open your heart to the cries of this world, and in so doing catch a glimpse of the living God? Amen.