Imagine that between each of us there is a line, representing the connection of between us. Some of these lines are thick - forged in the times we have been through together - the good times, the bad times, the laughter and the tears. some of these lines are wispy - almost like smoke, because we are barely connected. perhaps you are new to the church, perhaps we didn't have the chance to chat and get to know each other better. We could have talked, but just the usual - about work, about how you got to know about FCC. But we don't connect with one another over trivial conversations.

I am grateful for the retreat 2 weeks ago. I think that it is during the retreat when we really had the chance to deeply connect to one another. We shared about our lives - the topics chosen by the organisers on loneliness, relationships and family are very close to our hearts, and over that weekend, i think a lot of our lines became stronger.

What is relationship but a connection between two people? And I believe God is present in our connections.

Some of you may know about my friend who committed suicide 3 weeks ago. I knew Terry from NUS days, and we stayed on the same floor in hostel. He had been depressed for a lont time, and in the past two years he withdrew into himself, and did not contact any of us. King Kang, the journalist, was close to Terry, and the group of us used to hang out. Kang wrote a piece in the Chinese newspapers about Terry after his death, and my mom mentioned it to me, since I told her about Terry's passing. Kang had been receiving nuisance calls in the middle of the night and after reporting the matter to the police he found out that it was from the Bugis area, where Terry stayed. I had been receiving calls in the middle of the night for the past 6 months - sometimes several times a week, sometimes briefly. It was probably from a public phone, because the call got disconnected once I picked up. I no longer receive any calls in the middle of the night.

I wonder if our connection was stronger would he have called me, and talked. I wonder if I could have done more.

This connection between us is love. It is sad to take the death of a friend for me to realise that there are friends around me struggling with depression, struggling with their lives. And it is in Terry's memory I will reach out to those around me, and never let it happen again. I will ever have to wonder if I could have loved a friend more, and wonder if that would have changed things.

Sometimes our connections can get weakened, or even broken.

Unkind words, misunderstandings, and sometimes even our own deliberate fault, we break our relationships.

I find it sad when that happens. We ask God for forgiveness all the time. But how often we ask of forgiveness from one another? And how often do we forgive one another?

When we break our connections with one another, we do not honour God. God is in our connections. Didn't Jesus tell us, in the parable of the unmerciful servant? Didn't Peter ask him, "Lord, how oft shall my brother sin against me, and I forgive him? till seven times? What did Jesus answer? "I say not unto thee, Until seven times: but, Until seventy times seven."

Isn't forgiveness love?

I learned this, from Paul. We were together - a long time ago, and i really, really hurt him when we broke up breakup. But today, I count him as one of my friends, and one who loves me dearly. I told him this before - that his forgiveness never fails to remind me of God's grace to me.

I will be leaving this Friday for my Masters in Divinity in the Pacific School of Religion, and I will be away for 3 years. And I wonder what changes this 3 years will bring.

We have come a long way as a church, but I am not sure if all of you see that. Some of us are lost. Some of us are still troubled, wondering, does God love me? Some of us are wondering, why are we alone?

I wonder if you see what I see. I wonder if you see God amongst us.

How many of you remember Project Pelangi, Project Vaanavil, Project Muhibah? They were projects to spring clean and repaint homes of the under privileged and the elderly. Many of us from FCC participated in them – and we formed the core of the volunteers.

I will read an excerpt from my journal from 2005.

“another unit had queen sized problem. we went over to fumigate the apartment, but we did not realise the extent of the problem until much later. her bed was a queen sized bed. we had only a single sized mattress. and what's worse, bed bugs were still crawling out of the bed when it was carried out to the corridor to make space while the volunteers painted the house. i was alerted to the problem, but i was at my wits end. it wasn't likely for me to get a bed on the same day.

her legs were weak and a normal bed would be too low for her. moreover, we were already way over budget. the old lady did implore us to help - she was willing to pay for the bed, but we had no way of changing the bed unless we return another day.

i had a hard time figuring out the solution. in the end, i decided to try spraying insecticide on the bed and get rid of the bed bugs.

i was called away to attend to yet another situation halfway through, and i was away for a while. when i came back, i was told that they killed more than 20 bed bugs, flushed out by the amount of insecticide i sprayed (2/3 of a can of baygon?).

comment: looking back in hindsight, it was a rather silly attempt on our part. who would sleep on a mattress sprayed with insecticide?

the volunteers could not bear to let the old lady sleep in this condition, and called jerry to ask him to buy a bed on their behalf.

jerry was calling a few of us when he was about to buy the bed. none of us picked up his call. so he called daniel, and daniel told him there was a bed that one of the flats in his area is giving away. it was a super single - the kind that is higher than our normal standard frames. it was a miracle that we got what she needed.”

I talked to Jerry after that, and we both agreed God acted.

I will plug a little for Jerry about ANIC - A Nation in Concert. It is a concert with physically challenged performers. one week before the show, we were still worried about filling up the esplanade. today, they are preparing to perform for the third time there in October.

I am sure many of us remember Hope Concert earlier this year. I am always the skeptic. I was worried we would not fill even a third of the Kreta Ayer People's Theatre. We had an audience of 900 that night.

And SQ21. No, not the flight to New York, but the book. Half of the stories in there are of people amongst us. Elsin, Jeremy, alphonsus, rizal, cyrus, dominic. Do you know how powerful this work is? How it has touched the world around us? I wonder when Clarence came up with the idea of the book, did he see what seeds are planted?

Otto Fong, the ex RI teacher who caused a stir last year when he came out, conducted a talk last Saturday (part of indignation) , said the book was one of the few things that inspired him to do so. How has his action impacted the world around us? He has inspired, moved many of us with his courage. Many of his students stood by him, and encouraged him. Many of these students will be the leaders of tomorrow, and they will change the world. Otto said it felt like Jack planting a bean, and out comes the giant beanstalk. Yes, a butterfly flaps its wings here, and a tornado happens across on the other side of the world.

Rev Yap approached Christine Suchen Lim to write a short story, and she read her short story for our Christmas service in 2005. I wonder how many of you were moved to tears like I was. She read that story again many times to many audiences - and how that has changed people's perspectives and affected them I cannot imagine. It is like Jack planting that bean. That small little bean. But what came out, was the giant beanstalk.

Sometimes we can only imagine. We cannot follow the complete sequence of events to its fruition. We can look back and marvel at the sequence of events before us that lead to where we are. And in the midst of it, see God at work.

It is our participation that allows God to work through us. It is our acknowledging of our roles as Disciples of Christ, and seeking to be the God’s Instruments, that will continue to change the world.

Can you see, like how i see, God in the connections in all these things? God abides in our connections.

Otto flashed a slide of Rev Yap’s letter of encouragement to him that day too. And every time I see Rev Yap move and act, I see God moving and acting through him. It is in his actions, that we see the amazing love of God.

I recall meeting Rev Yap with another 9 FCC members for dinner. He very quickly invited us for the IRO dinner and we booked a table.

He is an outsider, who adopted us as his family, and made FCC home. Today, Susan, his daughter is our chairperson of the council, and his grandson, Jin Yu plays the drums for our worship team.

What about us? I can tell you, when I first started in safehaven, I didn’t see myself participating so much in the church. God calls some people – people like Gary, people like Clarence. Not me. Ask me then if I see myself where I am today, flying off to US for a masters in Divinity, and I'll tell you - you must be crazy. But I am going to do exactly that!

God calls ALL of us. We are part of God’s plan, and we are invited to participate and be God’s instruments – to heal, to transform, to love, to touch. When we act, God will magnify. We bring our 5 loaves and 2 fishes, and God will magnify.

Can we look beyond ourselves to someone whom we consider an outsider? Are we able to adopt some outsider into our family? Are we able to strip down these barriers?

When we speak of love, let it be love that is overflowing, boundless, and boundary-less. It saddens me that we have not had projects like muhiba, pelangi for a while. We sit comfortably in the airconditioning every Sunday, and we seem stuck in this comfortable cozy home.

Christ spoke about hospitality – are we able to throw open our doors and welcome those who are not welcome? Are we able to love the unloveable? When Susan called for help to open our doors to the sex workers in Geylang, do you see God working in our midst?

Open our eyes! Open our hearts!

Can we begin to build these connections, where nobody is left outside and everyone is connected?

Can we forge bonds like the steel cable that holds up the cruciform at St Mary of Angels? This cruciform weighs more than my car. it is suspended on 3 cables, which you can hardly make out in my photo.

Can we open ourselves and let God make us Instruments - to transform the world, knowing every little thing we do can be and will be magnified?

Can we see God in our connections and can we keep that in mind in all that we do, all that we act?

Can we see that every little thing we do, be it with our family, our friends, our work, or even the stranger on the streets, is a bean that can become the giant beanstalk that connects us?