Reading: Romans 12

9 Love must be sincere. Hate what is evil; cling to what is good. 10 Be devoted to one another in brotherly love. Honor one another above yourselves. 11 Never be lacking in zeal, but keep your spiritual fervor, serving the Lord. 12 Be joyful in hope, patient in affliction, faithful in prayer. 13 Share with God's people who are in need. Practice hospitality.
14 Bless those who persecute you; bless and do not curse. 15 Rejoice with those who rejoice; mourn with those who mourn. 16 Live in harmony with one another. Do not be proud, but be willing to associate with people of low position. [fn3] Do not be conceited.
17 Do not repay anyone evil for evil. Be careful to do what is right in the eyes of everybody. 18 If it is possible, as far as it depends on you, live at peace with everyone. 19 Do not take revenge, my friends, but leave room for God's wrath, for it is written: “It is mine to avenge; I will repay,” [fn4] says the Lord. 20 On the contrary:
“If your enemy is hungry, feed him; if he is thirsty, give him something to drink. In doing this, you will heap burning coals on his head.” [fn5]
21 Do not be overcome by evil, but overcome evil with good.

I remember this, many years ago in secondary school – two of my classmates were having an argument over Christianity. One of them was Catholic and the other was Protestant. I was in the middle – the agnostic fellow who believes God exists but not following any tradition.

I became sort of the arbitrator and in an inspired moment I said to the Catholic friend “your God” and then turned to the Protestant friend “and your God… different God?”

We belong to a very unique church. We are not non-denominational. We are inter-denominational. We profess to be inclusive. We have a wide spectrum of Christians in our midst – from conservative to liberal, from traditional to progressive, Catholics, Charismatics, Methodists, Anglicans, Brethrens, Presbyterians…

But where does that put us? Are we an uneasy alliance by necessity or are we something more? How are we going to interact with one another in the midst over these differences?

Today my topic is about building relationships with other Christians. Who is the Other here? The Other Christian could be someone in FCC, or someone who is in another church, someone from New Creation, someone from City Harvest, someone from Church of our Saviour, someone from the Catholic Church, and even someone who professes to be Christian, but does not attend church.

There were many things I heard when I was younger – some Protestants frowned on the crucifix because Christ has risen, so there should be no Christ on the cross. Even today, some of us have an issue with the Cruciform that Keng Hock loaned to us. If you do not know, this is the prototype that was made by the artist. The final work is the one that hangs from the ceiling of the Church of St Mary of the Angels.

I really liked the Cruciform. When it was explained to me, I was amazed at its meaning. The Cruciform is different from the Crucifix because there is no cross. The Cruciform IS the risen Christ.

Very frequently, in church, especially in FCC, we have disagreement in beliefs. Baptism – total immersion or just sprinkling will do? Should communion be served to everyone? Should it be served every week?

Some people walk out in the middle of a controversial sermon. Well last time I can tell myself you were taking a toilet break, but here in the new church, well the lift is there, and the toilet is there. Can’t do any self deception anymore. Let’s hope nobody walks out on me.

I remember the church retreat in 2003. It was held at Sentosa. The retreat’s theme was We Are One, and it was the first time a straight speaker addressed us at our retreat, and it was also the first time we had a speaker who spoke openly against same-sex intercourse.

Our friend, the late Robert Yeo, told us that he believed same-sex intercourse to be a sin then. His candid position came as a surprise to many in the fellowship, but most of us came to see the point Clarence made in his closing remarks to Rob's sermon; rather than simply speaking on 'Diversity', one of the three retreat themes, we “walked the talk” in allowing an honest, friendly, courteous exchange of views.

Anthony Yeo reminded us during the retreat not to exclude ourselves from the Church. It is one thing to be excluded from discourse and community; it is another to sever ourselves from it. In Anthony's words, 'it is not whether people accept you, or not — you belong, no matter what'.

I have learnt in my few years here at Safehaven/FCC to appreciate the diversity.

God is too big to put in a box. God isn’t just the liberal God. Or the conservative God. Or the God of the Cross, Crucifix or Cruciform. Too often we get mired in the form, but not the substance. Too often, we push our perception, our idea of who God is and try to impose it on others. We think we are right, and we shove it down people’s throats.

On 24 November 2003, Focus on the Family held the forum on "Homosexuality: Myths and Truths" at Wesley Methodist Church. There was much said about that forum, but what I remembered was this – Dr Thio Su-Mien responded to my point that not all Christians - including heterosexual Christians - agree that homosexuality is a sin. She answered that we should examine who then is a true Christian.

I left that talk very disappointed. They stated that the talk would “deal honestly and compassionately with homosexuality from various perspectives” , but I found honesty and compassion sorely lacking.

Earlier year, YMCA organised a talk - "A Christian Perspective on Homosexuality" .
Only a road divides the venue of these two talks, but they were as different as night and day. Dr Tan Kim Huat conscientiously brought the audience through the six bible passages that condemn homosexuality. He even went far enough to have 9 slides done on 377(A), which he had voiced out support for the repeal of even though he felt that the homosexual act is a sin, but did not touch on it due to the "lack of time".

We need to agree to disagree in Christ. We have so many problems today because Christ often left his listeners to figure out for themselves what on earth He was saying. He spoke in parables, he spoke about beggars and lending, birds and flowers, sowing and reaping, of doctors and the sick, of wedding celebrations, of shrewd managers. He threw out clues and left his listeners to argue amongst themselves how to solve the riddle.

One thing I must point out though, is that when we disagree, it isn’t a knee-jerk reaction. We should not get defensive. We should always take time to listen, analyse and reflect on the other perspective. There is always something to learn. I learnt from my encounter with Dr Thio that I should always bear in mind that I may not be right. After all, there are many things we do not know for certain. It is in this awareness that comes humility.

Many people reacted to Pastor Derek Hong’s sermon. Listening to it makes me wonder – where does he get his information from? There are many email campaigns launched by many churches. Some of them impact me as a gay person directly, and I reflected on how I should respond to misinformation, to lies, and to spite.

Focus On The Family President, Tan Thuan Seng wrote emails to disrupt what Spaces was doing (for those who don’t know - Spaces is a non-profit counselling and volunteer community service group); there are websites monitoring “the gay agenda” that calls Rev Yap an apostate, and us here false teachers.

What should be our response?

It is love. Romans 12:9-21 says it all.

Of course, here I disagree with the Apostle Paul. I don't want to heap burning coals on my enemies when I feed them, or give them drink. If I sincerely love as he said in Romans 12:9, then I would love them as much as anyone else, and I don't wish burning coals on anyone's head, friend or foe.

Kelvin said something at the retreat this year. He said many Christians (ourselves included) are too concerned with judging and we forget about loving. At the end of the day, we are not the judge, God is. We are not commanded to judge one another as Christ has judged us. We are commanded to love.

What at the end of the day do we need to recognise? What does the word Free mean in the name of FCC? FREE. First Realise Everyone is Equal. Just because I stand here today to speak doesn’t make me more right than you. You need to think about what I said, and work out how that relates to you, and your Christian journey.

Nicholas wrote to the list about Alive Community Church organising a talk by Edmund Smith, and perhaps writing in to the police to hold A/P Ho Peng Kee (senior minister of State (Home Affairs and Law)) to his word, but I respectfully disagree.

While we were affected by some complaint regarding Rev Troy Perry’s talk at our church, it does not mean that we should use the same means to do the same. An eye for an eye and we’ll all be blind.

We need to assert ourselves and stand up for the marginalized. But I don’t think fighting with those who are against us would achieve much, and I would even dare say that it would bring us further away from where we want to go. It is in building relationships that is the way forward.

We need to make ourselves heard, yes. But we don’t engage ourselves in shutting down someone else’s talk just because we disagreed with them. I just don’t see how Christian it is.

Dr Tan Kim Huat stressed repeatedly during his talk “we must not forget we are talking about human beings here”. I would say the same thing about Christians - in fact anyone - who disagree with us - if we lose sight of the people and focus on the issue, we would have failed.

I received one of those “write in to oppose decriminalisation of 377A emails”. I thought for a long while what should my response be. Should I write in to the same feedback channel to argue for the decriminalisation? And it dawned on me. I wrote a simple email back to those people in the email chain. I wrote about who I am, and asked them, before they seek to condemn, have they sought to understand? I received no reply.

I don’t know how to start building relationships with them when they are not receptive. Relationships have to be built on both ends – it cannot be done unilaterally. Perhaps the first step for us is to step out, be seen, and love.

We always say FCC is special. We need to recognise that. How we work out our relationships with one another here - honestly, respectfully, lovingly, humbly – we need to do the same with Christians outside our church. We learn to challenge one another, we learn to reflect, we learn how to accept differences. Fighting with one another, inside and outside of church, does not bring us closer to the Kingdom of God.

We need to remember Christ's commandment to love all of God's people. I remember Rev Yap said back in 2003 - The true Church has no outcasts. The Christian community must be Christ-like and be inclusive and able to accept diversity. I am not going to trudge out the outcasts Christ reached out and touched and loved in the Bible – I don’t need to. I am one of those outcasts that Christ has reached out to, touched and loved. And so is every single one of you here.