How is FCC like a spiral staircase? [responses are solicited]

Karen Armstrong entitles her memoirs The Spiral Staircase. In it, she describes herself as a recovering nun (7 years in a strict convent crippled her spiritually and emotionally) and a failed heterosexual (she lives alone in London researching and writing books). Central to her life journey is T S Eliot's Ash-Wednesday, a sequence of 6 poems that traces the process of spiritual recovery. In it, the poet painfully climbs a spiral staircase. This is reflected in the twisting sentences of the verse, which often revolves upon itself, repeating the same words and phrases, apparently making little headway, but pushing steadily forward nevertheless. I see FCC's life progressing the same way!

It has been hard. When we first started our church, you will remember how various warning emails were circulating about us, remember how YMCA cancelled our booking for space for our 1st Annual Lecture, how our speaker was accused of being an unclean vessel by an audience member, remember how a lecturer at Trinity Theological College was censured for preaching at our service, how we were prevented from staging the Jason & deMarco concert in March resulting in instant worldwide infamy & the inevitable outing of some of our council members to family and colleagues, how I was asked to stop tutoring children at a church-run BASC when they learnt of my association with FCC, how within our very own church there were those accusing our preachers of being false prophets preaching a false gospel.

We could have made ourselves miserable over these circumstances, constantly griping, feeding our anger, scheming ways to retaliate, generally making ourselves utterly miserable. In most cases these circumstances were beyond our control. But isn’t this life? Unfortunate events happen, differences in theology have existed since forever, conflicts will arise, people will persecute people, the situation is hopeless --- but it need not be serious. We need not be our own worst enemies. Instead we chose to forgive, learn lessons and move ahead with a commitment to seek all the good that life can bring.

So as we look forward, let us reaffirm who we are and what our hopes are for the future of FCC. Our church is encapsulated in these two paragraphs, a sort of re-visioning of our vision.

The FREE COMMUNITY CHURCH is a congregation of diverse individuals and families gathering to worship and grow as a Christian community. We desire to develop a vibrant heart relationship with God and a thinking mind relationship with the Bible. We do not believe in easy answers to life's challenging questions but in a great and loving God who surpasses all understanding. Our vision is to nurture Christ-centered cell group communities relevant to our times.

The FREE COMMUNITY CHURCH affirms that all individuals are persons of sacred worth and created in God’s image. Given the discrimination that LGBT persons still face in society, our Church affirms that same-sex relationships are consistent with Christian faith and teachings when lived out in accord with the love commandments of Jesus. Instead, it is homophobia and discrimination based on sexual orientation, that are inconsistent with Christian teachings. We welcome all LGBT persons to our family.

In our culture and society, we are taught to be achievers. This is what we hope to achieve. Aim for a vibrant & thinking church – at heart level and head level, aim to be a questioning church that faces life’s challenges head-on not expecting nor accepting easy answers, a church that is centered on Christ and will aim to grow in Christ …. worthy goals for most of us, but we can allow them to make us miserable.

Many of us complain that FCC asks more questions than it provides answers. That alone is enough to make anyone miserable. We do not understand many things about life and our world but that doesn’t mean we cannot cherish and enjoy our lives. There will always be thousands of unanswered questions, thousands of mysteries we cannot comprehend. But it is built into our nature to ask questions. Is there really a God? Why does He let people suffer? Why are some people born gay? What happens when I die? Is the Bible true? The situation is hopeless … but not serious.

To me, the intrigue keeps me humble. I realize that I will never completely know all the answers. But what I do know is enough to make my life meaningful and fulfilling. Rather, WHO I do know is enough for me. Jesus. Just observe our current Sermon on the Mount series -- Jesus tells us over and over again, that we are looking for answers in all the wrong places. He shows us where answers are to be found – in the meek, among the poor, with the persecuted, the grieving. Not easy answers to stomach. But they may just be the key to blessedness and happiness.

The other thing that can make me miserable is all the amazingly clever people I am surrounded by in this church. I read and study but I will never be on the same intellectual plane as Clarence. I learnt to play the piano but I will never play like Jimmy; I like to sing but I will never sing like Leslie or Sammi. I love to explore creative ways to meet God but I will never come close to the imagination that Tuck possesses. I can never preach like my father or pray like Jaime. I’ll never have Gary’s motivation or passion, Jerry’s energy or commitment. It is not easy to reach our full potential, we can always be better than we are, improvement is always possible. So to try and achieve perfection can make a situation hopeless … but not serious. It is not serious because I am not talented in their skills, but I can be my own person in my own right. You and I are not perfect but we are each unique.

Likewise FCC is not perfect but FCC is unique. This is where we come to the 2nd paragraph. Unique not because we are a church that reaches out to the marginalized, those who cannot find a place in the mainstream churches. Most churches claim to do the same. We are unique because we especially reach out to those in the LGBT community. We especially reach out to a group of people that no other church in Singapore is presently reaching out to, at least not with a message of affirmation of their sexual orientation. What we affirm is that we are all wonderfully created in the image of God. Regardless of our sexual orientation, we are all part of God's human creation, a rainbow of diversity. Sexuality is a gift from our Creator, not a choice we consciously make. Rather, the choice is the decision of how we express who we are.

As Christians we believe we are empowered to be a model of the Gospel, loving our fellow human beings and promoting justice for all. To share our life experiences and help people reconcile their spirituality and sexuality in an uplifting way. And, we should thank God for those who gave birth to such a church as ours, who were open to and gifted by the Holy Spirit with a strong sense of mission and vision. And, we should be proud that people sometimes refer to us as a “gay” church because God has called us to this special mission. A mission to present the teachings of Jesus in a way that is powerfully relevant to all those on the margins of society. Do you believe God has called us to take Jesus’ radical message of inclusivity & acceptance to lesbian, gay, bisexual, and transgendered people? If you do, then we owe no apologies. We are pilgrims on this narrow road or spiral staircase and our job is to bring rescue and hope to our brothers and sisters.

Together as a church we will help each other grow to be disciples of Christ who are healthy, fit and motivated for the climb. These are the four areas of growth that the Council has identified :

1. Worship, music & prayer – including forms from contemplative to charismatic
2. Theological reflection – “thinking about God” -- through cell group studies, Safehaven meetings, Christian education/spiritual formation programs and sermons
3. Building authentic relationships – in cell group communities, through church-wide events, through community projects, in social gatherings
4. Community action, Socio-political engagement, Evangelism – through public lectures, Safehaven events, community outreach projects, special services like Christmas & Maundy Thursday.

This is not difficult to do. We have set in place various working groups and task groups to set these in motion. What is a more difficult issue for us at FCC lies in one particular word in our Statement above. Diverse. To teach and experience these 4 areas amidst our diversity is not easy. I can tell you that even if most churches tell you they have a diverse congregation, it is nothing like the diversity in FCC. The need for us is not to take sides but to raise the issue to another level -- one that takes seriously our diversity, not just to be tolerant of it but to be committed to it. If we can do that, we may even be a model for the church of the future! A guiding light to other churches as to what it means to be diverse, open and affirming. Perhaps one day, their time will not need to be spent debating if it is OK to be gay and Christian, but rather in ministry to and acceptance of all of God’s people.

I believe we can attempt to realise some of the wisdom of Paul's ministry .. to become all things to all people, that we might by all means save some (1 Cor 9:22) and to recognise that ...some judge one day to be better than another, while others judge all days to be alike. Let all be fully convinced in their own minds (Rom 14:5). We must be equally convinced that the power of the gospel is its ability to engage and speak to the yearnings of each unique person. So the challenge for us is not to claim to know the answers, the challenge is for us to know how to speak to the different worlds we come from and reveal the options for each one. To do this does not require theological knowledge, but theological eyes -- the ability to see & understand these alternative theological worlds each of us inhabit within even this small church.

Let me describe the 4 theological worlds I see in our church. As I do you will quickly see yourself in one or more of them, and just as quickly be able to figure which worlds your friends inhabit too. Of course, many will not fit neatly into a particular world and many will find they are comfortable in overlapping worlds as well.

World 1 -- the Stranger
Her world is best experienced in an atmosphere of mystery, a quiet dark room will do nicely, with a taste for candles, Gothic arches, sacred symbols and icons. She faces life as she would death -- with a sense of sacredness. She is naturally pensive, contemplative, alone and private. Though alone, she aches for the "more", for union with the "One". Worship is full of pregnant silence, waiting as it were for the veil to lift, even for a moment. Liturgy is poetry, more for evoking deep feelings than for providing information. Images, words, gestures are used to effect the experience like that of an optical illusion. One stares at it for a long time seeing nothing, then suddenly there comes a moment, a kairos moment, "There it is! How could I have been so blind?" She is illuminated, enlightened. To her, Jesus is the Revealer, the Light.

The danger for this inhabitant is that she may retreat from the real concrete world and be a recluse in her own private one.

World 2 -- the Warrior
His world is in stark contrast to World 1. Mystery, shadows, silence make him uneasy. Worship needs to be dramatic, declarative, challenging and active, with clear progression towards committed action. He has a strong social conscience and envisions the whole congregation moving towards a better future, a new heaven & new earth, with an emphasis on here, now and soon. His is a faith seeking understanding. Sermons move through powerful stories and history coherently towards resolution. Life, to have meaning, means that one has to move forward and get somewhere. Classic sermons are of the "I have a dream!" type. Where the World 1 resident is inclined to linger in the quiet prelude, World 2 insists on rushing to a crescendo in a militant postlude, perhaps Onward Christian Soldiers, not with candles but with flaming torches carried out through open doors into the world. To him, Jesus is the Liberator, the Messiah.

The danger here is that because these people are so driven, they often have a difficult time enjoying life, and often sacrifice relationships for results. Bear in mind, on the extreme, crusades are made up of people such as these.

World 3 -- the Orphan
Here there's no mystery, no drama. Instead, worship is a warm and gentle family event, of sharing and testimonies. Coffee and conversation before or after service is important to them. They are the greeters, the welcomers, the huggers. While World 1 appreciates the aroma of incense, World 3 prefers the aroma of food from the pending fellowship lunch. World 3 residents yearn to belong, to be affirmed, to be that lost sheep for whom God left the 99 to look for, the unwanted orphan adopted into a family that cares. Worship is reassuring & accepting and they love to sing familiar favourites. Sermons they favor are those of favourite parables that boost self-esteem and worth, they never tire of listening to the story of the missing coin, the prodigal son, the mustard seed so small yet it grew and became a tree. To them, Jesus is the Shepherd and their Example.

The danger for them is the tendency to become cliquish and even exclude those that do not fit, or are not part of their support family.

World 4 -- the Fugitive
World 4 residents are motivated by the Call to Worship, the Invocation, they marvel at the thought that our God Almighty chooses to draw near to them, the fallen as it were, the very ones who keep rejecting Him. The need to tell this story provides a high tolerance for repetition. Once we confess and acknowledge our manifold sins and wickedness, we will receive God's divine grace & forgiveness. The need to know the givens/non-negotiables of faith means that learning is through disciplined, regular, private time for reading and study of the scriptures. The World 4 leader plays the role of trusted tour guide, who is sharing a pilgrimage he knows by heart. Free-for-all discussion is not trusted, he prefers to present the scriptures, draw connections, followed by question and answer – structure and clarity. World 4’s favourite hymn would be Amazing Grace. To him, Jesus is his Saviour & Redeemer.

The danger is for this inhabitant is the tendency not only to be guilt-ridden but to put the guilt trip on others too. Stress on sin is so strong it can undercut whatever goodness that may be present in a person.

Likewise, Holy Communion has alternative meanings for each World. In World 1 it is an experience of the sacred, in World 2 it is a revolutionary act, a rehearsal for the first supper of a new age to come, for World 3 it is a communal sharing, like "doing lunch" together, for World 4 it is where Christ meets and empowers us in the bread we break.

Let me illustrate these Worlds in a real-life situation. Last Sunday the working group that will develop our Membership Foundations Studies met after service. Myself, Tuck Leong, Chee Meng, Jaime and Gary. I had prepared a chart comparing the Membership Studies of a few churches and a proposed structure for ours. Organised point by point, item by item in a chart. I looked at what’s being done by others, looked for resources, case studies, identified what’s good & bad in each case, and came to a conclusion for what we want to do. Tuck has a dislike for restrictive definitions, he says why don’t we provide multiple perspectives, pointing to a common center. Rather than imposing conclusions, let’s offer our personal reflections of our different understandings of faith. He doesn’t want you to be convinced by argument, he wants you to be grasped by illumination. Jesus was good at this kind of magic, if the disciples had to ask for an explanation it was useless, you either get it or you don’t. Chee Meng then says, surely we all agree on the basics. Why can’t we just teach the simple basics. Look at the Alpha course, they ask basic questions of faith but our responses can be at different levels. He wants learning to be gentle and comfortable, addressing each person where he/she is. Meanwhile, Gary is keeping quite quiet, I’ll come to him in a bit. After 20 minutes of arguing our methodology, Jaime jumps up and says, “this is going no where, come on let’s focus.” She grabs a pen and paper and writes, point number one … She sees the need to be pull together, anchor together and struggle through this together. When pushed & shoved from one view to another, words that provide her the energy to continue are, “hey, we’re in this together”. So we begin to outline as Jaime writes it all down, 1. Who We Are 2. Who is God? 3. Who is Jesus? 4. Who is the Holy Spirit? And so on. After we complete our outline, Gary finally comes to life, leans forward, points to her outline and asks, “Are we mentioning SIN anywhere?”

This is exactly what happened and we can now laugh about it. We can tease each other about which world we live in. Although our worlds emerge quite early in life, through an interplay of personality and environment, it is rarely pure and more often a composite. We may live partly in each of the worlds, part of the time. Even if we do call one world our home, there’s nothing to stop us from wandering into another world, where we may even find treasures to bring home to behold.

So let us appreciate our diversity instead of resenting it. Let us move towards being sensitive to each others’ worlds and more attentive to each others’ needs. And even in conflict and disagreement, Jean Lee reminds us that this is necessary for our faith to thrive, and that our spirituality is in fact crafted by such tension. But that this tension is maintained and held together by the Vine (Christ). We are the branches of the one Vine, one Body. So we are committed to journey as community holding each other in the highest esteem.

And to quote Tuck in his email yesterday, “God is telling us it is high time to realize that we are individually different and knowing our differences is one sign that we understand ourselves better, playing out our differences another sign of being more comfortable with our relationships; and with our differences we can should make a mental note to commit more strongly to each other and leave the rest to God.”

And then together let us climb this spiral staircase, moving not only upwards to a goal or forward into time, but also depth downwards and inwards into our holy centers. Where perhaps we will see that in seeming hopelessness, there arises fresh hope, new visions and a world of creative possibilities.

Pray
Lord, you are our Shepherd.
For the Stranger in us, thank you for leading us “beside still waters & restoring our souls”, for the Warrior in us you “have prepared a table in the presence of our enemies”, for the Orphan in us we thank you that “we shall not want” and that “your rod and staff will comfort us” and for the Fugitive in us we praise you for “leading us in paths of righteousness for Your name’s sake”. For meeting us in each of our worlds, we give You thanks dear Lord our Shepherd.

Continue to lead us into worlds we do not like to go, knowing that our Christian love is deep enough not only to accept our differences but to celebrate them. Keep us open to the call of Your Spirit who comes to the aid of our weakness. Empower us to be among those who dare to do things that are just and beautiful, true and faithful.

So we pray that you will
Make strong in our hearts that which unites us
Build bridges across that which divides us
As one Body united, make us rejoice in our diversity
A rainbow of your glory.
Amen.