I woke up in the middle of the night from a strange sound. For a minute or so I did not know where I was. I was lying on a mattress on the floor in a big room. All around me there were people sleeping on mattresses – men, women, children. Some scant personal belongings were scattered about. There was a ray of light coming in from the corridor. Some commotion. Then I remembered. I was in Istanbul, Turkey. I had just turned 17 and ran away from home with a religious cult called the ‘Children of God’. I now lived in their Istanbul commune, called a colony. In the corridor, more noises. An argument, conducted in hushed voices. Something about not bringing back enough money. Sleepily I got up and approached the door, wearing only my briefs. As I peeked through the opening, I was to experience my first disillusionment about the Children of God: Four sexily dressed women were being interrogated by the leader, the so-called shepherd, of the colony: Why had they not brought back more money?
Earlier that night they had gone out to bars to practice what we called ‘flirty fishing’: They met men and tried to make them disciples – using the Bible quotes they had learned, their smiles, the ‘look of love’ and…if necessary…their bodies. And if they could not win them over for Christ, at least they made some money for the group. Was this the Love of God I was searching for?
Let’s have a look at today’s scripture (from NIV):
1 John 4
Test the Spirits
1Dear friends, do not believe every spirit, but test the spirits to see whether they are from God, because many false prophets have gone out into the world. 2This is how you can recognize the Spirit of God: Every spirit that acknowledges that Jesus Christ has come in the flesh is from God, 3but every spirit that does not acknowledge Jesus is not from God. This is the spirit of the antichrist, which you have heard is coming and even now is already in the world.
4You, dear children, are from God and have overcome them, because the one who is in you is greater than the one who is in the world. 5They are from the world and therefore speak from the viewpoint of the world, and the world listens to them.
6 We are from God, and whoever knows God listens to us; but whoever is not from God does not listen to us. This is how we recognize the Spirit of truth and the spirit of falsehood.
God's Love and Ours
7Dear friends, let us love one another, for love comes from God. Everyone who loves has been born of God and knows God. 8Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love. 9This is how God showed his love among us: He sent his one and only Son into the world that we might live through him. 10This is love: not that we loved God, but that he loved us and sent his Son as an atoning sacrifice for our sins. 11Dear friends, since God so loved us, we also ought to love one another. 12No one has ever seen God; but if we love one another, God lives in us and his love is made complete in us.
13We know that we live in him and he in us, because he has given us of his Spirit. 14And we have seen and testify that the Father has sent his Son to be the Savior of the world. 15If anyone acknowledges that Jesus is the Son of God, God lives in him and he in God. 16And so we know and rely on the love God has for us.
God is love. Whoever lives in love lives in God, and God in him. 17In this way, love is made complete among us so that we will have confidence on the day of judgment, because in this world we are like him. 18There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.
19We love because he first loved us. 20If anyone says, "I love God," yet hates his brother, he is a liar. For anyone who does not love his brother, whom he has seen, cannot love God, whom he has not seen. 21And he has given us this command: Whoever loves God must also love his brother.
Today is the third – and final – part of my little series on 1 John. I called it ‘Get on the LOOOVE Bus’ because it’s all about love, about living in the light, about our spiritual journey.
And incidentally, I first chose 1 John because of a quote here in the 4 th chapter, one that – by the way – was one of the Children of God’s favourite quote: It’s 1 John 4,8:
8 Whoever does not love does not know God, because God is love.
Wow. God is Love. What an amazing, encouraging, uplifting statement. But … what does it really mean? What kind of love are we talking about? And what does it mean for us, in our daily lives?
Love – popular culture seems to be in love with the word. There is an inflation of Love around – straight from the 60s when the original LOOOVE Bus first started its journey. Today we find it everywhere – from Advertising Strategy (how brands become ‘love marks’) to songs (from the Beatles’ ‘All You Need Is Love’ to Haddaway’s ‘What Is Love?’ [Baby don’t hurt me]).
But we need to define what we mean when we talk of Love because it has so many different meanings.
For example, I do not hesitate to tell you that I love Jo. For the past 10 years he has been my companion, my partner, my support, my teacher, my critic, my soulmate. We travelled the world together, had a few disagreements and many more agreements. So, after all those years, I still tell you unashamedly that I love Jo.
I also love my parents. They have brought me into this world, supplied me with a solid education and given me a happy childhood. They have always supported me in who I am and in my choices, even if they not always agreed. And when I ran away from home, they moved heaven and hell (well, more heaven I guess) to bring me back from Turkey and get me out of the cult. But of course, I love them in a different way than I love Jo.
I love my siblings and nieces and nephew Julian – again, in a different way.
I also love Singapore – it’s my new home, I love the place and its people, I think the government is doing a great job, and I find myself defending Singapore everywhere I go. Another kind of love.
So – what is love?
In the Greek language, there are three words that we all translate with ‘love’, but they mean different things:
The first one is EROS – it is not used in the new testament but its meaning is. Eros means physical love, sexual love, sex. And whenever sex is mentioned in church, people get nervous. So dirty. So paiseh.
But – there is nothing dirty paiseh about sex. ‘Erotic love is a gift from God with a clean heart and pure hands’, as Melvin Newland says. It is to be enjoyed between loving consenting partners.
This Eros love, however, is at its heart selfish. It’s about satisfying my desires. That’s why it often involves jealousy – which is another selfish feeling.
Being jealous only pretends to be about my partner; in reality it’s about me, and my sense of ownership and being robbed.
The second love is called PHILEO. It’s a brotherly love, more of a friendship. It’s how I love my best friend. It’s not so physical, but it may be temporary.
And again, it’s certainly about give and take. I benefit from this brotherly love, most of the time emotionally, this is why I stay in this relationship. My friend makes me feel worthy, important, in the right, beautiful, glamorous. He or she strengthens my self-esteem – we build each other up and together form a protective shield against this big bad world.
But if I no longer get anything out of this relationship, if I feel I only give, give, give but don’t receive, if I no longer get the support I need or – worse – my friend belittles me behind my back or switches allegiance – it’s over. It’s bye-bye. It may hurt for a while but I can move on and heal and find a new best friend.
The third word in Greek for Love is AGAPE. Now this is what we’re looking for. This is the love that John means when he says ‘God is Love’. Why? Because Agape is totally different from the other kinds of love I mentioned. The big difference is:
Agape is totally unselfish.
It only cares about you. Not about me. It is willing to sacrifice, to make any sacrifice necessary to make you feel loved. This is the love God has for us. He only cares about us, not himself.
Had he loved us in the EROS or PHILEO way, he’d long left us – we rejected him so many times. But he even sent his son Jesus to show his love for us. That’s how much he cares about us.
This AGAPE love is a pretty amazing thing. It loves unconditionally, or – as we like to say in our circles – NO STRINGS ATTACHED. For this love, it does not matter if it’s loved back in return, it does not matter if it’s accepted or rejected.
And: It’s a very personal love.
‘God’s does not love populations. He loves people. He loves not masses, but men.’ (and women, of course) (A.W.Tozer)
You know, it may not seem like that, but deep inside I’m a pretty emotional guy. I get teary eyed with certain movies and certain church songs. Especially when the message hits me and I am overwhelmed by the magnitude of God’s Love and Grace.
So in one of the songs we just sang, ‘Above All’, my eyes well up when it says ‘you took the fall, and thought of me, above all’. And thought of ME. Me, Jörg Dietzel. The Lord Jesus Christ was actually thinking of ME and MY sins when he died in unimaginable pain on the cross. He died not for mankind, not even for FCC Singapore – he died for me. Wow. That’s how personal the love is that God has for us.
G.K. Chesterton said it: “All people matter. You matter. I matter. It’s the hardest thing in theology to believe.”
So the first point I would like to make, is:
- God loves us with an unselfish, personal love.
Okay, second point:
Do you feel complete? Is there anything you need except for the hardware you were born with and that you evolved by learning?
Sometimes we do realize we’re not complete human beings (right) but think all we’re missing is a partner (wrong).
I make that mistake, too. I often refer to Jo as ‘my other half’ – well, mainly to avoid saying HE or SHE. ‘My other half’ – does that mean I am only half? Not a complete person?
Remember 1996, Tom Cruise in ‘Jerry Maguire’? One of the famous lines in this movie (apart from ‘Show me the money!’) is when Tom Cruise says to Rene Zellweger: ‘You Complete Me.” Very romantic, but wrong. In reality there is no other relationship we can have on earth that truly makes us complete – none other that the love of God.
Because God’s love is our connection, our link to God. It makes sure we stay in close contact, even if we fall, even if we temporarily lose faith, His Love will never leave us and keep us connected to Him, because it’s unconditional.
Last Friday night late in Bangkok I saw ‘Eight Legged Freaks’ again on HBO (sad, I know) and it reminded me how S.L. Bastian once told of a certain kind of spider that builds a nest in the branch of a small tree or bush. In this delicate enclosure that baby spiders are hatched. If the nest is disturbed in any way, the little spiders will rush out in fright.
At once the mother goes to their side. She is alerted to their potential danger in a most unique way. Each of the young ones has a thin silky strand attached to it, and all of these stands are joined to the body of the mother. When the babies are threatened by an enemy, they naturally scurry off, giving their lines a sharp tug. This is instantly felt by the adult spider, and within seconds, she pulls them back to the nest where they are protected from harm.
This is what the prophet Hosea means when he says we are connected to God with cords of love, cords that cannot be broken. (Hosea 11,4) So there are ‘Strings Attached’, after all!
OK, third point:
Love, especially AGAPE Love, is not only about how we feel, but WHAT WE DO. Just like faith, it is DEAD without actions.
Again, God himself set the example. Romans 5,8 says: “But God demonstrates His own love towards us, in that while we were sinners, Christ died for us.”
He demonstrated His love to us, put it into action, by sending Jesus to die for our sins on the cross and thus save us.
And he is asking for us to get off our butts and put Love into action.
A traveler fell into a deep pit and could not get out. Several persons came along and saw him struggling in the pit. The sensitive person said: “I feel for you down there.” The reflective person said: “It is logical that someone would fall into that pit sooner or later.” The gay man said: “I can give you some ideas how to decorate you pit with throw pillows.” The judgmental person said: “Only bad people fall into pits.” The curious person said: “Tell me how you fell into the pit.” The self-pitying person said: “You should have seen MY pit.” The Buddhist said: “Just relax and don’t think about the pit.” The optimist said: “Cheer up! Things could be worse!” The pessimist said: “Be prepared! Things will get worse!” Jesus – seeing the man – took him by the hand and lifted him out of the miserable pit.
So God wants us to DO SOMETHING. He wants ACTION. Agape Love means you DO THINGS – like Martin Luther King did. Like Mother Teresa did. You show your unconditional Godly love to the ones that need it most by actions. You serve the community. You speak up and stand up for minorities. You get involved. You take over a cell group. You volunteer. You serve in the FCC service. You become a missionary in China.
There are many ways of showing God’s love to people. But it’s important that we DO.
So, when you read 1 John 4, 8 about GOD IS LOVE, you need to remember three things:
- God loves you with AGAPE – an unselfish, personal love.
- God’s love completes us and links us to Him – always.
- Love requires actions.
Let us pray:
Lord, we thank you for your amazing and personal love. You have known us from the time before we were born. You have a plan for us. You sent your son Jesus to die on the cross – for ME. You will always be there for us. Lord, help us remember that your love comes with a task – to share it with others, to get going and get involved. Because we are loved by you Lord, we are called to be the Ambassadors of your love in this world. Please help us live up to that challenge – every day. In Jesus name, Amen.
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